Couldn’t resist after an email from my left wing buddy. Don’t kill the messenger:
If Trump had been the captain of the Titanic ...
"There’s no iceberg, believe me.
There is an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
There is an iceberg in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
Very soon. Believe me.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very
shortly. Very shortly. Believe me. We’ve got lots of people
working on it. Very good people. We’re working on it very very
hard. It’s a beautiful thing to see how hard we’re working on it.
The iceberg was a Chinese iceberg.
We’re taking on water, but every passenger who wants a
lifeboat can get a lifeboat. We’ve got so many of them you
wouldn’t believe it. They’re beautiful lifeboats.
Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.
I really don't think we need that many lifeboats. The lifeboats we have are supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats.
Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their
own lifeboats. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.
I'm an expert on icebergs. I've got lots of friends who deal
with icebergs. Some of the best. Really good ice people who
know ice and their forms of berginess. They all say, ’Mr
President, you should have been a Professor of Icebergs rather
than running for President of the United States.”
If Trump had been the captain of the Titanic ...
"There’s no iceberg, believe me.
There is an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
There is an iceberg in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
Very soon. Believe me.
There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very
shortly. Very shortly. Believe me. We’ve got lots of people
working on it. Very good people. We’re working on it very very
hard. It’s a beautiful thing to see how hard we’re working on it.
The iceberg was a Chinese iceberg.
We’re taking on water, but every passenger who wants a
lifeboat can get a lifeboat. We’ve got so many of them you
wouldn’t believe it. They’re beautiful lifeboats.
Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.
I really don't think we need that many lifeboats. The lifeboats we have are supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats.
Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their
own lifeboats. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.
I'm an expert on icebergs. I've got lots of friends who deal
with icebergs. Some of the best. Really good ice people who
know ice and their forms of berginess. They all say, ’Mr
President, you should have been a Professor of Icebergs rather
than running for President of the United States.”
