"I want to thank my wife, Taco Jane.... oh, I'm sorry-- Taco Jill, for showing up. I also want to thank the vice-president perched behind me. I can't remember her name, but you all know her as the cackling idiot. Last, but certainly not least I want to thank all the stupid morons out there for voting for me two years ago because, as we all know, without stupid morons we would have no Democrat party.
Now, to my fellow Americans-- you all might think you are suffering as a result of my complete incompetence, but that's just your imagination. Everything is wonderful! The Taliban easily defeated me because of my stupidity, and it's been all downhill since then. But the main thing is that I got my $30 million for selling out America and my son, Hunter, is a corrupt piece-of-crap just like me!
So, two more years of embarrassing the Office of the Presidency and more disastrous anti-America Democrat policies, and it really doesn't matter because morons will continue voting Democrat! Good night, suckers!"
Now, to my fellow Americans-- you all might think you are suffering as a result of my complete incompetence, but that's just your imagination. Everything is wonderful! The Taliban easily defeated me because of my stupidity, and it's been all downhill since then. But the main thing is that I got my $30 million for selling out America and my son, Hunter, is a corrupt piece-of-crap just like me!
So, two more years of embarrassing the Office of the Presidency and more disastrous anti-America Democrat policies, and it really doesn't matter because morons will continue voting Democrat! Good night, suckers!"