Karine Jean-Pierre:
"It's with a heavy heart that I come before you all today. After much thought I have decided to submit my two weeks notice as White House press secretary.
As you all know, I took this position a few short months ago for one reason only--- to promote myself. On my first day I was explicitly promised that I would receive only 100% softball questions from an obedient Democrat press corps, but it’s clear that I'm only getting 98% since Fox's Peter Doocy will NOT stop asking intelligent questions. He's a real pain-in-my-a** to be quite honest!
And this latest "Where's Jackie" gaffe by Moron Joe just reinforced the fact that I just am not capable of adequately lying for the moron. I mean I knew the guy was an imbecile, but calling him an imbecile is an insult to imbeciles everywhere. I just can't imagine another two years trying to cover for the fool.
I've learned that to be a Democrat press secretary, especially for Moron Joe, that person must be able to lie effortlessly, continuously and with a straight face. I just don't have that kind of rare talent. What I'm saying is that person must be both a piece-of-crap and a World Class Liar. I know only two people in the world who match that description---- one is in prison and one is living in luxury off the American taxpayers--- Bernie Madoff and Barack Obama. Maybe Obama will take the job as he would be perfect.
So, it was nice knowing all of you. Have a good day!"
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